No matter what you do in life, everyone is going to have a comment!
Choosing to live in one place while your spouse lives in another is no different. In fact I recommend getting your funny bone checked as well as some anger management course, both would come in handy!
Tristan and I have heard it all!
Be prepared for the negative
- Rumors from my own family that Tristan and I must be getting a divorce. The can’t seem to fathom any other reason why we would buy a cheaper house in another province and have him stay working in another province where he makes six figures a year, nope the right thing for him to do is to move with us and take a 2/3 drop in pay because the jobs in Ontario don’t pay as much as they do in Alberta.
- “What you are doing wont work, you will be back in Alberta”, again from my family. I just take these kind of comments to fuel us to do better and for me to do my part in making sure we pay off everything so Tristan can move back sooner.
- “Oh, that must be hard on you.” or “That’s such a long time for him to be away” This is the one I hear the most. Of course it’s hard not having my husband around all the time, but having people say it and point it out all the time makes me want to start punching them in the face and saying “oh that must have hurt” (see this is where anger management classes would come in handy)
- “it must be hard on the kids.” same as above I’d rather just punch them. yes the distance is hard but we plan Dad coming home around Spring Break, or two weeks off during the summer, long weekends or when they have PA Days. Plus there is facetime and they can call him anytime they want. He’s a truck driver, unless he is loading or unloading he’s not going to mind!
- “Maybe <insert child’s name here> is acting out because dad isn’t home” How about my children are hitting puberty and becoming teenagers, it’s just a thing they are going to do. Show me one child that never acts out at some point in their lives no matter what the family situation.
- “<insert child’s name> sounds down on the phone, I think they are depressed.” Again, how about the kids are jsut kids and would rather be playing or anything else but talking on the phone!
Those that think they are funny
- “Your marriage must be great now!” to which I replied “My marriage was great before, now it is excellent!” (see funny bone!)
There will be some positive (though very few)
- “Your marriage is strong enough to handle this!” It’s nice to hear people reaffirm what Tristan and I already felt! We wouldn’t have made this choice if we thought our marriage couldn’t handle it.
I know not everyone understands why couples do the long distance relationships, and when the negative comments out weigh the good it can be extremely frustrating at times! Heck a few years ago I was the one saying to Tristan that I didn’t think we would ever be able to do this, and look at us now doing it. Yes it’s been hard, if it was easy everyone would be doing it! we just have to keep our eye on the prize, no debt and possibly the house paid off in 3-5 years and he can come home and take a pay cut and not have to stress about it. Now that will be living the dream!