There’s nothing higher on my pet peeve’s list then people complaining about the life style in which they have chosen to live in.
For example: My sister married a truck driver and complains on facebook all the time about him being gone. blah blah blah. Our Dad was/is a truck driver you can’t tell me she didn’t know what she was getting into
My advice, if you choose to do a long distance relationship make sure you both talk it out and make sure you can handle the time apart, the lonely nights, and try not to be a Debby downer.
There are ways to make it easier:
- Routine- Since I have kids routine is key. They call Dad every night before bed. Our routine has become a bit relaxed since it’s now summer holidays, but they both have soccer practice and soccer games each week until the middle of August. They have their chores they have to do daily/weekly. I try to give them a day or two warning if their routine will change.
- Phone calls – I talk to Tristan at least 5-12 times or more a day. it might sound excessive but it’s what helps us get through the day. sometimes I have him on speaker phone while I clean the house, or while I’m driving he is on bluetooth. The kids hear his voice throughout the day. It helps make it feel like dad isn’t so far away.
- Facetime – Gotta love Facetime and Skype etc. I use facetime all the time. We try to Facetime at least once a week(depending on how crazy Tristan’s schedule is). The kids get to show Dad everything they have done ie. Crafts, stuff they have built out of lego, anything they may have bought with their money or they may have received from other people.
- Making plans – Making play dates, plans with family. Even just outtings with just me and the kids. It helps the days go by faster.
- Making plans – no not a typo, there is making plans when Dad is gone. There is also making plans when Dad is going to be home. It’s good for the kids and myself to have something to look forward to for when Tristan comes home.
- Keep each other included – With moving provinces we did a major purge of things we didn’t need since the moving pod could only hold so much. There is a lot of stuff I need for the house. I prefer not to make purchases for the house with out Tristan around. I figure he lives here so he should have a say in the decor. Plus I don’t want things to change so much while he’s gone that it doesn’t feel like home when he does come home on his days off. So he will get pictures of things I like. ie. The huge clock I found. It was a beautiful clock I took a picture and sent it to him and he called me back saying he liked it and to go buy it. Perfect! It sat in a box in the dinning room until Tristan got home and we could pick a place to hang it up together.
- Being honest- It’s probably the most important thing to remember. Tristan needs to know how I feel 100% of the time. there is no lying. I feel it’s a slippery slope. it starts off with one tiny lie that things are okay when they are not, and the next thing people are divorced and don’t know how they got there. For the long distance relationship to work honesty is key. If the situation is too stressful for me Tristan needs to know ASAP! We agreed to do thing but not at the expense of our marriage (Divorce is not an option, it’s our marriage motto. We’ve said it more times that I can count!)
Other then that, just take every day one day at a time. Try not to focus so much on how long it will be until you see each other again, that will just drive you crazy. Look at it more as an over night trip. Since Tristan is a truck driver, I was already used to him being gone for 1-7 nights. So I try to think of it as just that. He’s gone on one of his trips and he will be home before I know it.
But you will never hear me complaining about Tristan being gone. We chose to live this life style, if we decide it’s too much for us to handle, it’s on us to change it. Complaining about it will never accomplish anything. Also if I’m having a rough day, the only person who will know about it is Tristan. If I can’t stand other people complaining about their life style choices, the last thing I’m going to do is subject them to my pity party for one. Personally I’d rather people still come around to hang out or spend the night here and there the last thing I want to do is make people stop interacting with me because they can’t stand listening to me complain!